When a book unexpectedly surprises you as a writer, not as a reader

When a book unexpectedly surprises you as a writer, not as a reader

I started writing The Mulberry Door with my main character, Jenny. I knew what was going on in her mind at the beginning of the story. I also knew that I couldn’t magically make her pain disappear. I know, it’s a fantasy story, but in every world, pain still exists.

In the end, I put her through even more pain while writing the story, but eventually she discovered that pain doesn’t disappear; you learn to live with it.

What I certainly didn’t know was that, while writing, I was feeling my own pain. Together with Jenny, I discovered that my own pain doesn’t simply disappear either, even if you have “forgotten” it years ago. You learn to live with it.

The story that began with teaching Jenny how to keep going with her life eventually taught me how to do the same.

With the realization that this had happened, I started looking again at what else I had written after Jenny.

I’m almost finished with my second book, and this story feels familiar to me too. In fact, the idea for my third book has the same feeling.

Different worlds, different characters, different problems, but the core is recognizable to me.

I have discovered that, while writing, I am slowly giving my own mental health a place.

While every book I write gets a place on my bookshelf, my feelings get a place in my mind.